Potential unexplored uses of sex toys!!! Why the fuss?

 Sex toys were produced and marketed to cater to the sexual gratification of people. They can either substitute or supplement it. But ethically and legally their manufacture and sale is prohibited in countries. At many places, they are sold in dark alleys secretly. Now e-commerce has helped in sales and the $31 billion industry has seen a boom lately during coronavirus pandemic. In India, the sales soared 63% and both genders were clients. Besides, the purchases were done for major cities as well as small towns! 

Potential uses of sex toys 

Governments of countries have repeatedly banned sale of these sex toys on the pretext of obscenity. The laws on it are not clear cut and they also fall in the bracket of a social taboo. But they have potential uses that are outlined below

1. One very important role of sex toys is in recovery phase of rape and sexual violence survivors. The counseling sessions take care of emotional and psychological aspects post-rapes but the sexual recovery is rarely discussed properly and in detail. Dutch designer Nienke Helder has made tools for this purpose. She said:

"The tools are an opportunity to explore your personal sexual recovery,”

She named her collection of sex toys for this purpose as Sexual Healing. It includes a horsehair brush for touch and tickling, a mirror to assist the victim have a view of the vulva region, a pelvic device that vibrates and informs when  muscles are tensed, and a bean-shaped sensor that is lit up if the victim breathes heavily and fast. She adds:

 “By getting biofeedback through the tools, you can visualise what kind of processes are happening inside your body, which can help you understand in which situations your body reacts with a reflex."

Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium in East London is a similar female-focused sex shop with an extensive array of tools and teaching materials for such victims. NHS is its guide. Renée Denyer, the shop’s manager and in-house sex educator states:

Sex toys (Source: Amazon)

 “Unfortunately, many health professionals are still not comfortable talking about sex,”  

 “For survivors of sexual assault and rape, their body is taken away from them. But when women are ready to start thinking about sex, after they’ve had therapy and counselling, there is nowhere to go, so we made that space.”

"Especially for those who experienced abuse from childhood, they very early on learned to tune out when any sort of sexual touch is happening,”

“Even later in life when they are with a chosen partner, they’ll dissociate because that’s what they’ve been conditioned to do. We work on trying to fix that.”

Most of the products are non-fleshy, non-phallic and non-penetrative. There are some flavored lubes so that survivors do not get mentally upset and anxious by the smell of genitalia that reminds them of their life catastrophe. But all these are vital to allow the victims to explore sex again but in a healthy way, in a safe environment without the physical pressure from a sexual partner. A lot needs to be done but this could be one positive forward step towards the goal of a happy sex life gor the survivors. Only verbal and pictorial explanation and support might not help all. In them, the sex toys become an additional effective tool for rehabilitation of these victims. 

Also read here Kim Kardashian and her legal entangle!!!

Sexual violence reporting is just tip of an iceberg. Only 15 % seek help from police and law. And even the 15% in figures is an alarming number: 85k are raped and 500k are sexually abused every year in England and Wales. And in the world the figures are shockingly high. So one can imagine the number of people living without counseling on sexual aspect after sexual violence. They have to figure it out on their own. Not all are able to do so. Here sex toys can help. 

2. To supplement sex gratification in marriages. Marriages are institutions but sex satisfaction also decides its stability and durability. Science says and we know that men have a higher sex drive than women. They have 3 times more orgasm and their sex desires remain for a major part of their life. It starts early in life and goes on for a longer time in life. So when there is this disparity in the need of sex in  a couple, it might lead to sexual dissatisfaction and breakup of a marriage. Sex dolls or toys can supplement here. These are effective if a relationship is mature and healthy with no insecure feelings in both partners. They can fill the gaps. But if one has insecure feelings or the sex toy becomes a substitute or one partner gets addicted to it, it may ruin a relationship. Hence if a relationship is harmonious and balanced, a sex toy is not required. But when there is an imbalance, it is required with a proper explanation and avoiding excesses. 

2. Sex toys can tide over a crisis in marriage such as surgery of one partner or in long-distance relationships. In both cases, chances of infidelity run high. Sex toys might assist here and thus can become part of the Boudoir menu of couples. 

4. Betty Dodson USA feels that women's sexual desires are ignored often in society. But with sex toys she can have control over her sexual feelings. The first sex toy was an electric vibrator. It was designed by British doctor Joseph Mortimer Granville in the 1880s. It was not to bring a hysteric woman to orgasm but was to treat men with spinal diseases. Women started gaining interest and have been part of focus and discussion groups of companies making sex toys. Betty Dodson helped in sales and Dell Williams opened a store to sell the products in the USA. The latter is in New York and called Eve’s Garden. Dell states:

"Eve represented all women and the Garden was symbolic of women taking responsibility for their ‘own’ sexuality.”

But male-dominated world has a problem in acknowledging it. Miller of Come Play says:

“Any discussion of female pleasure is treated like it’s obscene. A lot of people blame FOSTA-SESTA, but for some reason I can’t discuss female pleasure at all,”

Besides, laws too do not favor a female's  feelings. And hence such shops and companies face challenges to start, exist, operate, and succeed. Gallop started MakeLoveNotPorn and states:

“Every single goddamn thing is a fucking battle,” 

5. Sex toys can potentially help decrease rapes of innocent people. It is strongly believed that if sex toys sale and use is legalized, they can be useful to cut down on rapes and sexual violence. People would use them and human sex trafficking would also come down. The fear of AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases at prostitution dens make men do rapes and sex toys can potentially prevent this. 

Having sex parlours or halls near public-frequented places could also provide employment opportunities to people in form of managers and cleaners and housekeepers. 

6. They could be of use with painful intercourse or masturbation. 

7. For disabled people for sexual gratification 

8. For disabled to provide semen sample for IVF

9. For premarital sex education or exposure or experience 

American bioethicist and medical historian, Jacob M. Appel aired his opinion: 

" There does there appear to be any remotely rational basis for keeping sex toys out of the hands of married adults, or single adults, or even children."

"On the list of items that I might not want children to be exposed to in stores—guns, matches, poisons, junk food—sex toys are way down the list."