MY FATHER-MY SUPPORT, MY TRUE FRIEND, MY HERO-A DAUGHTER'S TRIBUTE!

 It has been 16 years 3 months and 21 days since I lost my dear father to natural death. But his memories and teachings are still fresh in my mind. I have never forgotten it! I have sensed his presence on multiple occasions after his death and especially after I lost my mother also to a natural cause. 

Also, read Sensed presence and what it means?

Whether I felt his presence after his death in the elderly man at Hammersmith bus station or in the house owner of the place that I stayed in Belgrade, his spirit has always tried to tell me to remain principled in life. Whether it was through the sportsperson whom I met at Chennai Airport or through the shopkeeper in Nepal, his spirit has come and comforted me at the times that I needed him the most. 

My father and his difficult childhood

My father was a man of virtues and principles. I respect him immensely for it. He came from humble beginnings. He was a victim of the gory Partition that broke British India into two countries-India and Pakistan. He was just 12-13 years old at that time and was residing in Lahore. He had lost his father (my paternal grandfather) when he was 10 years of age. And he had to swim through river Beas with his mother to reach Amritsar, India. He had seen death from near and survived it. 

Daughter on father's shoulders [Source: Everypixel]

When he came to India, he had nothing with him; not a penny. Everything, he and his family had left behind in Lahore-house, property, belongings, memories, everything that is dear to people at that age. He had to start from scratch and anew in India. And he had to start working at that tender age when normally kids would be playing and loafing around. 

It was not easy but the son of a British Army officer, he clung to the principles that his father had taught him and started life again in Bombay. He worked hard and his engineering brain, sharp mind, curiosity, honesty, and great principles helped him reach a fairly good place in society. When I place myself in his position, I do not think that I would have been ever able to achieve what he achieved in life on his own. He was a self-made man. And the most important thing that I value in him is that despite all odds in his life, he remained 'good' like a 'lotus in dirty water'. Being alone in a city like Bombay at that time could have led him to go astray. But he never went astray and with the help of his hard work and principles started a family. 

My father and I

My dad married a rural woman from Punjab and she became my mother. He completed his intermediate after his marriage and studied homoeopathic medicine after I was born. I do not recollect visiting any physician for my childhood illnesses. He was always there to take care of them. He learned medicine for the family so that mom does not have to queue up to seek medical advice for herself or me. When I was in college, he also did other professional courses from VJTI, Bombay. I salute his sense of curiosity and desire to learn even at that age and this is one of those many good qualities that I learned and acquired from him. He was my doctor during my growing years. And I was his doctor during his old age trying to get the best possible treatment and medical advice for him (though he used to not listen to me much since I was his daughter and would always remain smaller than him in age). 

Father and daughter cycling [Source: Pinterest]

At every walk of my life, he was there to help me. Every step of life, he has taught me about it. I do not remember any time that he said 'no' to me whenever I have asked for help from him. He would volunteer and help me always. He would repair all the household things-be it electrical, kitchen appliances, plumbing work, car, motorcycle, scooter, doorknobs, carpentry. He was good at everything. He never spent money lavishly any time in his life. He was a family man-a committed, loyal, and dutiful father and husband. Even with a fever, he would be working and teaching me. He had that extra something that I adored and respect from the bottom of my heart. 

He never used to interfere in other's matters and also never allow anyone else to interfere in our family matters. He has never cheated anyone his whole life. He was always true to his family. He had only words of wisdom for everyone and used to make people aware of things. He wanted people of the society to uphold virtues but in this era, there are many people who do not like it. 

Father and Daughter [Source: National Center for Fathering]

Due to certain extraneous factors, there were few years in between when he was not so good to me. It also happened to be a crucial part of my life after my MD when my friends and colleagues were planning, trying, and also got jobs on foreign lands that made their lives. But I was struggling to get jobs where I would have a roof to stay under as well. I was forced to stay separate from my parents at that time. But though I was physically away from them, emotionally and mentally I was always with them. They were always in my thoughts and I used to make daily phone calls to them and ask about their well-being. It took him around three years to realize his mistake but when he did realize, he had the humility of apologizing to me. That is the 'greatness' of my father who would not feel bad to seek apology from his daughter when he felt that he had been in the wrong! 

My father and his sensed presence

On multiple occasions after his death, I have sensed my father's presence at hours that I needed him the most. At Hammersmith bus station on 2nd January 2019, he seemed to be in an elderly person who came and sat opposite to me. The person looked straight at me ignoring everyone around us and asked me: 

"Have you made any New Year resolutions?"

I answered in the negative but at the back of my mind, I was thinking as to why is he asking me that question. At this, he advised: 

"Please make resolutions. Do not keep friendship with people who are bad."

Papa's girl [Source: Freepik]

We departed after his bus came, but those words still ring in my ears. Was it my father's spirit through the man that spoke to me? But I have no answers or any way of proving it. 

Then I saw him in the house owner at Belgrade. I was there for a month. And this person's family background and educational background matched that of my father. He would think and talk like my father. At times, he would also behave like my father. His wife too said some sentences that sounded like my mother. I do not believe in spirits and ghosts since I am from the medical field. But these happenings and occurrences in my life were making me feel otherwise. I still have no answers yet. The events and similarities were more than mere coincidences. 

As regards the sportsman I met at Chennai airport, it was the low time of my life. I had told my late dad that he has to help me and meet me when I go to South India (Many people talk to their departed loved ones but it does not mean that they have lost their sanity). And after meeting this person there, I felt that he was talking and comforting me just like my father would have. He was sometimes talking like my father and sometimes like me. I was in some sort of a trance as I spoke to him. Time seemed to have come to a standstill at that time. He spoke sentences that my dad would tell me. Later, I came to know that he was also a DIY man like my dad and seemed to be honest and sincere and hardworking like him. And what is more? He also was a family man and a person who had turned vegetarian from non-vegetarian status for more than 20 years just like my dad. I dread to ask him anything more about his life lest more similarities crop up. It will only confuse me more! Are these just coincidences or something supernatural and beyond human understanding? 

And then there was this shopkeeper in Kathmandu in Nepal whom I do not know well. But on three occasions, he just waved his hand at me as I was passing by and said in Hindi: 

"Jahan bhi raho khush raho (Wherever you stay, stay happy)."

I do not know why he was telling me that when he did not even know about me or my life! Was it my father's spirit talking through him? I do not know. My father has also come multiple times in my dreams. And I have had auditory hallucinations of his voice. 

Science says that sensed presences are felt and are not real. They mostly occur when someone has lost a loved one and is terribly missing that person. It usually is felt by people who are lonely. 

Whatever the goings-on, I do know that my father was and is my support and true friend! He is still alive in my heart but I miss him dearly! 

A tribute from Papa's Girl! 

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