I feel that societal structure is absolutely wrong. The gender inequality that has been created by men and for men is also perpetuated not only by men but also women.
Indian thinking about marriages and how they should run and work seem to be wrong too. My this feeling has been reconfirmed several times to be right.
I had a teacher who was heading our department. I remember once I talked to her about another colleague of us who was in an unhappy marriage. This colleague had a non caring husband and the two had a child. Can you believe what response came from this head of department on this statement of mine? I had expected that she would feel sad for the colleague and say that we should all be with her in this matter. But this so-called intellectual head of department had only this to say:
"Her child is now passed 10th standard!!!"
Yes, a mother may be proud of her child's academic progress. But that would not guarantee the mother marital bliss or happiness. These two are separate entities. But the head of department decided to bundle the two together. Weird thinking. Wrong thinking of society! Useless thinking!
I met an ex-college mate of mine recently. And I realized that high education does not help correct this wrong thinking of Indian women and society. Their wrong thinking continues unabated.
This ex-college mate of mine is a divorcee with a child. She told me that she went ahead to have a child with the thinking that if a child is born, it would help reduce her victimhood of domestic violence and rectify her strained relations with her husband!!! What absurd thinking is this??? Who teaches them this? Their mothers, their parents or the wrong society??? And how do educated women fall prey to such non-evidence based thinking?
When I told this ex-college mate of mine about another friend of ours whose husband was troubling her saying that her father did not entertain his friends well during the wedding ceremony and that her husband did not like her giving birth to a daughter, I was aghast with the answer of this divorcee ex-college mate of mine. She said:
"First first there are problems in marriage but later wife and husband start liking and loving each other!!!"
So you see, Indian women, educated or illiterate, consider any type of abuse in marriage as normal. The society forces them to continue married life irrespective of happiness or not. Their upbringing and societal training is not adequate enough to tell them that even a slap by your husband needs to be reported. This reporting will help bring domestic violence on women to zero gradually. But not reporting it only causes a rise in domestic violence in society because everyone thinks it is normal for a girl or woman to get maltreatment in life from her relatives. Sad plight.
Also, these two examples will tell you that even highly educated women in India are unable to be sensitive enough to the plight of their co-women workers. They keep overlooking this preventable aspect of marriage and keep trying to focus your attention to the academic and career growth of a woman or that of her child (husband's child). But truly intellectual person like me can never be diverted away from the fact that the woman had and is being abused and would continue to be abused her life. This is because my upbringing was better than that given by most parents in India where they consider daughters as alien and the 'property' of her husband. That is also the reason that marital rape is not considered a crime in that land. Domestic violence will never end unless parents of daughters stand up and demonstrate zero tolerance to it. Law and police enforcement and government should also make and implement laws to end gender based violence.
Additionally, women need to take a proper stand and fight for their rights, even if it means filing an FIR against her husband or in-laws or whoever is abusing her. What kind of thinking is this where women do not want to properly address the glaring issues and just want to continue the marriage? I strongly believe that society makes them do so. Education goes to the back burner and does not help the women to gain justice. Her education gets overshadowed leading to a permanent eclipse on her life! Sad!
My ex-college mate added that the common friend of ours is now head of an institution!!! Another example of wrong and jumbled up thinking! Professional progress does not imply marital bliss. These are two separate entities and should not be mixed up!
My dear women folk, wake up! Stop giving some non-proven justification on how marriages run and how people "settle". No good building or structure can be built on poor foundations. Open your eyes and use your knowledge to gain true happiness. Don't just be happy with society claimed happiness. This happiness is always substandard.
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| Indian women -Wake up! |
Don't also mingle professional progress or child pride with your own happiness. These two are separate and cannot replace each other. Both need to be intact for true life happiness! You need to have your respect and space in life. Don't play second fiddle to anyone despite being an adult. Instead lead as an equal partner and contributor to the family unit and enjoying equal rights of your own!
To be frank, I wonder what type of society is this?-unhappy and stubborn...does not want to take steps in right direction despite enough proofs to the contrary!
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